samuelpuff:

…How?

You’re gonna go play with yourself…?

puckthelion:

Puck had known that Santana wasn’t yet on the outs with her crazy uncle, so he’d assumed that she’d been playing nice with him. Even though he’d gone with her to turn in the letter she received to Figgins and knew that she wasn’t on her uncle’s side, he also knew it was harder to stand up when the man with literally now right in the school and holding it hostage. He couldn’t really blame her for her caution. Heck, even for all of his posturing and some of his slightly reckless words, Puck himself hadn’t really done anything either. What was there to do? (The lingering thought of “something, anything” was getting harder to ignore.)

He hadn’t known about this, though. She was claiming to be actively working with her uncle? Puck found himself staring at Santana, studying her face as she spoke. She still wasn’t happy about it. That was obvious. Here she was admitting to it but looking genuinely distraught at the words coming out of her mouth. Puck licked his dry lips, unsure how to react. “San…” he started, voice hesitant. “Sometimes we… sometimes we do stuff to survive, you know? He’s your uncle. Who knows what he would…” Puck hesitated. There was a part of him that was both ashamed and snot ashamed to admit that above and beyond the craziness that was Alex Lopez and his policies, Santana was his priority here. So what if she had to do things that were unsavory. She didn’t want to. And… because she was, she was still here. Still alive and well, for the most part. “He said that he doesn’t want to kill any of them,” Puck finally said, letting the rest of his previous statement go. “They’re all… they’re probably alright. I mean, I think I saw Rachel being loud earlier anyway, so there’s one that you don’t have to worry about.”

Puck took a deep breath and then sighed, sagging further back into his seat. He felt like Santana was pulling him in two directions and a part of him wished she’d just finish him off and be done with it. That would be less confusing and honestly it might not hurt as much. It was to the point that he was ready to be done with their continued circles, the way they wouldn’t really talk, the way there were things that just couldn’t be said. If she was going to end whatever they’d never officially started then he might as well just put it all on the table, crazy uncle be damned. Puck rubbed at his face before speaking quietly but firmly. “If I deserve someone so much, then why can’t I have you?” There it was. The big question. Out there and laid bare for her. “I don’t care, okay? Your uncle would probably want to hurt me anyway. Somehow. I’m not perfect, I get that. But what you’re doing…” Puck swallowed, looking away as he was about to really go where he never went. It was against his code. His image. The very ideals he had defined himself around. “This hurts worse, San,” he breathed, voice low and rough. “If he’s gonna be here and wants to get at me, I don’t care. I don’t. Just… I want you. I want you more than just… wanting you. If I deserve someone, then I want you.” Puck was silent for a moment after his declaration, debating deflating further and letting it all just end. One last hurrah before the silence. Except if he was going to do this then he wasn’t going to do it like that. He tensed his jaw, turning back to look Santana in the eye. This wasn’t about being confrontational, but he was serious about this. For once, he was determined to show her just how serious he was. She could reject him and push him away if she wanted, but at least she couldn’t deny this truth.

Santana’s chest was heaving and her head was starting to swim. She felt light, like what she was feeling as how a feather would feel, and she felt like she was moving but in actuality she hadn’t budged from the place that she’d sank into in her seat. She reached forward, watching her hand as she did so, and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. What if Puck was wrong though? What if the kids that she’d convinced to go see her uncle were really, really fucked up because of it? What if they weren’t okay? What if they were dead and forgotten about already? She shuddered at the thought before turning her attention back to Puck, her eyes scanning over his face as he spoke. “How do you know that though? How do you know I haven’t been sending kids to be like… murdered or something? I could be sending fucking first years into his clutches to be crushed like bugs,” she managed to bite down on the inside of her lip to stop the onslaught that was falling from her lips. “You can’t tell me that what I’m doing isn’t fucked up… Because it is,” she breathed out as she shifted awkwardly in her chair, wanting to stand up but knowing that the librarian wouldn’t like that too much.

She swallowed quietly, her gaze downcast as silence blanketed them both again. She’d gone and fucked things up again, she was getting really good at that. She hadn’t perfected it yet though, Puck seemed perfect to practice on though. She finally looked up from where she’d been staring down on the table when he spoke and an eyebrow raised itself up. He was… What was he doing? Why was he saying that? She blinked slowly at him as he continued and she gulped, hoping that it was quiet enough for him not to notice it. He was really… He meant it. She chewed on the inside of her cheek and she opened her mouth before closing it up again. She didn’t mean to hurt him, she truly didn’t. She didn’t want him to be hurt by her uncle but it already looked like she was doing enough of that herself. How did their conversation go from her being super pissed off to him confessing to her like that? She caught his gaze when he finished speaking and she looked back at him, all previous anger had disappeared from her eyes, “I… You’re serious?” She finally managed to stutter out in response to everything he’d just said. This was Puck, regardless of what they were talking about, he wasn’t the type to sputter something like that out. “You don’t… Why me? I’ve just, you heard me before, why do you still want me after that?” She’d seen the look in his eyes from before, it was heartbreaking, but he still looked determined. What the fuck was going on?

berryslytherin—rachel:

Rachel paced the hallway outside Santana’s dorm room, an activity she’d been partaking in since she’d awoken that morning at the crack of dawn. Well, awoke was a very liberal use of the term if you asked Rachel, she was positive she hadn’t received a wink of rest, her mind had been too busy mulling over her meeting with Alex. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t terrified, but then who wouldn’t be in her situation. She’d been forced to choose between her friends and the girl she loved. Perhaps it wasn’t all that black and white, but it certainly felt like it was to her. At least it had in that moment. Rachel couldn’t help but feel she was completely over her head, which was why she’d arrived much earlier than necessary, a now luke warm coffee held in her hand as she obsessively walked back and forth in front of the old wooden door, as though she was afraid that if she stopped moving everything would just fall apart. She felt as though she might burst if she were forced to keep silent any longer, and then she really couldn’t be held responsible for who she chose to open up to. At least she’d had the sense to think everything through, to truly contemplate the appropriate person to take the information to instead of simply just unloading on the very first person she saw. With the brunette’s luck she probably would have run into Jeremy, he likely would have gone straight to the headmaster’s office to inform Alex of her big mouth… or worse! He would have asked to help.

Taking a deep breath she finally slowed her movements, dark eyes landing on on the wooden door before her. Teeth played over her bottom lip, digging into the plump flesh roughly as she considered her options. Sure, Santana had warned Rachel about being over eager and arriving too early - apparently Santana needed her beauty sleep, a sentiment that made the singer roll her eyes. No matter how much sleep she acquired the young diva had never actually noticed any difference in her outer appearance. Taking a few steps towards the door she lifted her right hand, taking a deep breath before finally allowing her knuckles to fall against the door in a quiet knock. If Santana really wanted to make a big deal about her being a few minutes early she was confident she could deal with it. After all, there wasn’t anything she couldn’t possibly do that might be worse than what the other girl’s uncle had already threatened, right? “Santana… i-it’s me, it’s Rachel Berry!” She called out as she knocked once again, a bit louder this time. If she was about to wake the girl up, she might as well appear confident as she did so.

Santana had been sleeping peacefully, soundly, when the knocks started at her door. First, they just rang throughout her dream and she merely rolled over, rubbing at her face as she did so. She hadn’t had anything planned for the day (that she had remembered) and she wasn’t planning on pulling herself out of bed for anybody. If anything, people pulled themselves from bed for her, it was never the other way around. As she moved beneath the comforter of her bed, the knocking in her dream got louder and then louder. She shuffled underneath of the blanket and her eyes started to pry themselves open, her hand immediately going to rub at her face and the sleep in her eyes. Who could’ve possibly been dumb enough to be banging at her door while it was obvious that she was still asleep. The rest of the dorm room had been empty so it was definitely past breakfast but still, no.

She pulled the covers off of her and pushed them aside, her hand running through her hair and smoothing out what she could tell was a knotted mess, when she finally realized who it was. She heard the voice, that voice. Biting back a yawn and scowling instead, Santana grumbled out, “Ugh, I’ll be right there,” before moving towards her trunk and grabbing out a pair of sweats to throw on. She had taken to sleeping pants-less and as much as she didn’t give a shit, she didn’t want Fabray thinking she was seducing her girlfriend or something. That was honestly the last thing that the brunette needed. Trudging towards the door, she sighed and finally reached forward for the handle. She slowly pulled the door open and leaned her body against it as she stared down at the other girl on the opposite side of it. What could it possibly have been that she couldn’t have waited another hour for her to wake up? She sighed loudly as she stared at the other brunette, checking her face for whatever mask of confidence that she wore. “What did I say about waking me up, Berry?” She asked as she folded her arms across her chest and sighed. “You couldn’t possibly have waited like… An hour for me to get up? Really?” She asked as she bit back a yawn.

puckthelion:

It came close, the once. Maybe he’ll show up, though. I’ll let him know.

Maybe I’ll even still be awake.

puckthelion:

I’m not sending him down there if he’s gonna get left outside.

It’s never happened to him before.

puckthelion:

… Yeah?

Possibly.

puckthelion:

Nah, I know a guy, but he doesn’t write poetry for anyone.

That blows. Well, if you find one, send him to the Slytherin dungeons, mkay?

puckthelion:

Nope. I don’t know anyone like that.

Really? You sure? He has his nipple pierced too, if that helps narrow it down.